All Danielle and I wanted was a nice king size bed from Ritz Carlton. We could get a great price for it (Stephanie, I promise I will someday have a job that has perks for you!) – but since we have very little patience between the two of us, we went to a mattress store yesterday and picked up a Tempurpedic bed from them. It’s getting delivered today, and I’m pretty excited – I swear I almost fell asleep in it while testing it out last night.
Here are the top 10 things I’m going to do in my new Tempurpedic bed:
10. Try to get a face print in the bed – instead of the usual hand print.
9. Try to knock down a wine glass on one side of the bed while jumping on the other.
8. Act like a mattress salesman when I talk about the bed (is there any profession out there worse than a mattress salesman?).
7. Reenact the moon landing in my bedroom.
6. Lie down and throw money up into the air and watch as it floats back down on top of me…while thinking about how much the bed cost and cry.
5. CENSORED.
4. Sell tickets to try out the bed for 5 minutes and $200 each.
3. Promise myself and my friends that we will never have to move this heavy-ass bed – I will definitely hire movers to do it for me/us.
2. Think about how funny it is to move the “dash” in heavy-ass bed over one word in the sentence, so it reads heavy ass-bed.
1. Have an awesome, restful nights sleep for the rest of my life.
